Hi, my name is Bella! And I'm a drug addict
by donielle nash
Summary: LSD, Cocaine, Weed, Heroine. Anything I could get my hands on. And now, I find myself, sitting in a lobby, awaiting drug treatment from the very man who caused it all. BXE VAmp/ HUMAN. not like the other bella drug stories. Trust!
1. Chapter 1: First sight

**If its more you want, its more you'll get.**

**B POV**

"Your going, Bella." Charlie shouted. "You cant make me go anywhere I don't want to be." I said stubbornly. I was still a little foggy from the stuff I'd taken last night, so I was seeing 3 Charlie's instead of one.

I knew that the first time he caught me high he'd flip. And I was right. He found me last night and he just about shouted my ear off. "_Don't blame me. Blame Edward._" I'd told him. Because that's what I did. I blamed Edward for every wrong turn my life took, and for my getting addicted to drugs.

It had been going on for about 3 months and I was hopelessly hooked. Charlie said he was sending me to Alaska for a drug program but I wasn't really going for it. He said I needed help but I disagreed.

He was angry with me for moping about Edward, so I did something to fix it. It started with a small dose of LSD and then gradually progressed from there. The drugs made me feel free, as if nothing in the world mattered at all.

When I was doing them, LSD especially, I felt no need to cower under my covers from the creepy monsters that roamed this Earth. Victoria was still after me, and that had me terrified. But, if I had a dose if Cocaine, I was absolutely fine. My mind wandered freely, no longer causing my heart pain about the Cullens.

"Bella, I'm not arguing about this. Your boarding the first plane to Alaska tomorrow."

**E POV**

"Are you ready for your first day of work?" Carlisle asked. I nodded sadly. "Hopefully working for you will get my mind off of things." He nodded and handed me a clipboard and pen. "You'll be taking care of the drug treatment to start off. You have to work your way up to surgeries." I nodded.

"You'd think since I've been to medical school 4 times, I would already be high enough." I chuckled. "Well apparently that doesn't matter." Carlisle said laughing with me.

It felt good to laugh because I hadn't in a long time. Being away from Bella had my mind in a shamble and I was in unbearable pain. I considered returning to her, but then I thought better of it. I left for a good reason. And I would stick to that decision.

"You only have about 10 patients coming in today, and they'll be staying in the vacant halls on the left." he said pointing the rooms. Just as he pointed a sickly looking boy was dragged in by has collar as he squirmed in the hold of a tall, butch woman. "Mom! Let me go!!! I wont go in! You cant make me!" he shouted. "Hush up, Jacob." she scolded. "Dr. Carlisle? This is Jacob. He's here for the drug treatment program." she said. "No I'm not!" he protested.

"Dr. Edward is running that department." he said gesturing to me. The woman smiled at me as she handed her son over. "I need you to go into that empty room, there." I said pointing to it. "I'm not going in there." he said. I looked at Carlisle anxiously.

_Use force. Most drug addicts need to be handled roughly. But try not hurt him._ he thought.

I nodded and grabbed the boy by his collar. "Hey! This is illegal!" he shouted. I dragged him into his room and 3 nurses entered to strap him down. He struggled against his restraints but it was a futile attempt.

I picked up his chart and began to read it. "Jacob Black, addicted to crystal meth." Black? Was he Ephraim Black's his grandson? Great grandson? "Who is your grandfather?" I asked.

"Why should it matter to you?" he asked.

_Why does he wanna know about grandpa Ephraim? _he thought. So was he a…..werewolf? He certainly smelled horrid. But I put that off to bad hygiene. "Anyway, you'll be staying here until your completely cured. So enjoy your stay at The Denali Drug Program." I said walking out.

"Carlisle. Do you know who that boy is?" I whispered. "No. Who?"

"Grandson of Ephraim Black."

_He might not know anything, Edward._

"But he might now something." I insisted. "Don't stress over it, son." I nodded, still unconvinced. The doors to the hospital were opened and I began to make my way over to it. "I know you don't want to be here. But you need help." I heard a man say. His voice sounded so familiar……..

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**XOXOXOXOOX~ Donielle Nash**


	2. Chapter 2:Speachless

**It _was _more you wanted. So it is more you're getting. Gracias for my reviews!**

**BTW * Please do not leave any reviews dissing, or disrespecting drug addicts, or those who have recovered from something like that.* Just be nice!**

**E POV**

**Recap:** _The doors to the hospital were opened and I began to make my way over to it. "I know you don't want to be here. But you need help." I heard a man say. His voice sounded so familiar…….._

I would know that rough voice anywhere. Charlie Swan.

I walked with an anxious heart as I approached the front doors. The site before was a shock to my being and I doubled over and shut my eyes completely. "Dr. Cullen! Are you alright?" the receptionist asked. I nodded faintly as I tried to regain my balance. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves as I approached Charlie.

There, sitting on the bench in front of him, was a young woman with her head hanging down as her hair hung loosely to cover her face.

But I didn't need to see her face to know exactly who she was. Her blood had a different smell to it, but all in all, it was exactly the same. I walked to meet her and her father slowly. "Chief Swan." I greeted, tensely. Bella's head remained down as if I hadn't of spoken. "What are you doing here?" the acid in his voice was enough to send a chill down my spine.

"I work here." The answer was a lame one, but he took it. "In what department?" he asked, skeptically. "In the drug treatment program." _Oh hell. Maybe bringing her here is a bad idea. I mean, he's the whole reason she's here._ I turned my head to the side as I ran over what I'd just heard. Why was she even here?

"Is Bella hurt?" I assumed she would at least make a glance in my direction, but her head stayed down. "No. Well…yes….I mean….she's here for the drug treatment program." Maybe my ears were malfunctioning. Drug Program? Why in God's name, would she be here for _that?_

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Surely I'd heard wrong. "She's here for treatment. Look, I filled out the form online. It has all of her information there. But, seeing as you work here, I don't think this would be the best idea." he said, rather annoyed at me, I presume. "She's in fine hands here." I said stubbornly.

"Do you think that would be best? She needs to be in recovery. We don't need you here to mess her up more." I opened my mouth to speak, but then I shut it slowly. Of course it wouldn't be beneficial for her recovery if she was here.

But I didn't want her anywhere else.

With anyone else.

I couldn't protect her from the drugs before. But, I could protect her from them now. "Chief Swan, _please._ I will do everything in my power to make sure she's well again." After much more persuasion, he finally agreed.

Kneeling down next to Bella, he pushed her hair back slightly. "You haven't said a word since we left Forks. I know you're upset honey." He shifted his weight onto one knee and he let out a heavy sigh. "You'll thank me one day, I promise." He let his hand graze her cheek and then he stood to his feet. "You hurt my daughter again, and you'll have hell to pay." I nodded.

I let one hand run through my hair as I stared down at the love of my life. How had her life turned on itself like this? I needed to know why she reverted to this lifestyle. But, first things first. "Bella, I need you to get up, so that I can lead you to your room." I tried to stay professional, but it was hard.

I was staring at the very reason I lived and breathed. And she was slumped over with her head hanging down, awaiting drug treatment. She ignored my plea and instead, wrapped her arms around her body and buried her head in her knees. "Love, please get up." I whispered.

She looked up at me silently and shook her head. And for the first time, I got a look at her face.

She had a cut along the side of her jaw, and dark circles that incased her brown eyes. She looked as if she lost a few pounds, and was in desperate need of some food. Her lips were chalky and white, and her hair matted. "Why wont you come?" I asked. She unlocked her arms from around her and sat up straight and looked me dead in the eye.

I waited for her to speak but no words came out. I wanted to hear voice, and it angered me that she was staying silent. Anything was better than this. "Bella, talk to me, please." She continued to stare at me, a blank expression held firmly on her face. "Bella, I'm sorry. But, _please _speak to me. Yell at me, cry, hit me! But, anything is better than you acting as if I'm not here." I was on my knees by this point. She just continued to stare at me, not uttering a single word at all.

"Bella,-"

"I think it's time you show this _patient _to her room, Edward." Carlisle said holding on to my shoulder, firmly.

I looked back at him pleadingly. _If you're too emotionally attached to help her, I'll assign her to a different doctor._ He thought. "No. Please. I can handle this."

_I understand that you love her, Edward. But, remember that you must be professional. The most important thing now, is that she gets the help she needs._

I nodded as I looked into Bella's emotionless eyes once more.

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	3. Chapter 3: Listen

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**E POV**

**Recap: **_I nodded as I looked into Bella's emotionless eyes once more._

I allowed my fingers to graze her leg but she stayed still as stone. Her eyes bored into mine, but they held no emotion. "Please, Bella." I whispered, knowing that my father was out of earshot. If he assigned Bella to a different doctor as he so threatened, I would loose my mind. "Look, I know you may hate me but, we have to get moving." Her eyes locked with mine for a brief moment and then she turned her head away from me. I felt my heart crumble into dust, and I took a deep breath to calm myself.

_Edward, if Bella is not moving, then you must force her to just as you will do with all of your other patients. This is bigger than you, son. You must help her the way you must help every one of your patients. _Carlisle thought. I turned my head a fraction, and he was standing at the receptionist's desk eyeing me sadly. I nodded in understanding. "Time to get a move on, Bella." I said. When she refused to move once more, I leaned down hesitantly to pick her up. As my hands came in contact with her arms, I immediately felt warmth radiate through my body. I'd missed her touch for so long and now I finally had it. I hoisted her up and she made no move to stop me.

As I carried her to her room, there was complete silence. I concentrated on her shallow breaths as I escorted her to the last room down the hall. I laid her down on the bed assigned to her and she sighed. I looked at her pale face and my heart broke.

I remembered her beautiful face as it once was and couldn't help but allow a small sob escape my throat. Though still beautiful, her face wasn't the same. I longed to see her signature smile light up her features but I knew I wouldn't see it for some time. At that very moment, I decided that would be my mission: Get her to smile.

If I could see her smile at least one time, I could live with the rest. If she didn't hate me for leaving her the way that I did, then I would do everything in my power to get her to be mine. I knew my decision to leave was made with good intentions, but as it turns out, neither Bella or I was better off. I looked down at her chart to see which drugs she was addicted to but none were listed.

I set the chart down and looked at my love once more. "Bella, I have no record of your drug history. Which drugs are you-" I struggled to say the word, "_addicted _to, Love?" I saw her wince near the end of my sentence but I hadn't the slightest idea why. Instead of answering me, she simply closed her eyes.

As sad as it was, I knew she wasn't going to answer me. Sad, and angry, I stalked out of her room and headed back to the receptionist. "Mary, Bella Swan's chart lacks her drug history. Why is that?" she typed her name into the computer in front of her and sighed. "It says here, that after her father found her high, he shipped her here the next day. He couldn't find her drugs in her room, and she wouldn't talk to him about it." I nodded and headed back to her room.

"Bella, your father has no idea what drugs you've been taking. And since you're refusing to talk, I'll have to get a urine sample to find the traces of drugs in your system." She didn't move a fraction. Her head was turned away from me and she was gazing out of her barred window. "I'm sorry about the bars. But they're needed to ensure you wont try to escape." I saw her head nod, but she stayed facing the window.

"Bella, I need you to put your sample in this container. I'll be back for it in a few minutes." She stayed perfectly still and her breathing became heavy. "There's water on the table if you don't have to go now." This time she nodded. I walked out her room once more. "Dr. Cullen?" I turned at the sound of my name being called, and came face to face with a short brown haired woman. "Hello, how may I help you?"

"I am Vivian Harris. I'm the physiologist for all of your drug treatment patients." I nodded. "Good to have you here." She smiled. "Yes, well I will need them ready in the cafeteria at 12 noon each day." I nodded again. "Then, each will have a private session with me. I will leave the information of their drug history I discover in your box."

"May I ask you a favor?" She smiled. "Of course."

"There is one patient, Isabella Swan. I need you to document everything she says. _Everything_." I stressed the word, hoping she'd understand the message. Her thoughts were a little skeptical of my motives. "Dr. Cullen, surely your not implying that I pay _special attention_ to this patient?"

"Of course not-"

"I should think not. Because we both know that, that is a violation of protocol. And, I would never betray any patient's inner thoughts and feelings." she said sternly. "Forget I mentioned it." I growled. I knew she was being professional, but couldn't she just sympathize with me? I strolled back into Bella's room to find her sample cup filled, and her eyes closed.

She was deep asleep, and I sat down in the chair across from where she laid. Every other patient checked into the drug program was strapped down with restraints. But, I couldn't do it. I couldn't tie her down. Besides, she wasn't fighting as most of them were, so where was the harm? Her deep sleep suddenly became horrible. She began to toss and turn, twitch and push the cover off of her shaking body. " Don't please." she suddenly whispered. Why was it that the first time I heard her voice, it had to be in so much pain? "I'll pay. I'll pay." she cried.

I ran over to her side. She continued to toss and I yearned to touch her. I reached my hand out to caress her face, when my pager went off. I walked out of her room without locking the door, and walked over to the receptionist.

"You paged me, Mary?" she nodded. "Your shift is over Dr. Cullen."

"I'm going to put in a little overtime tonight." she shook her head. "Your father told me you'd say that. But, he's in surgery at the moment. I have strict orders to make sure you go home." She sighed. "Your father says you need to inform your family of your first day." I knew what he meant by that. He wanted me to tell them about Bella. As much as I wanted to disobey him, I knew staying here would help nothing. "Alright. I'll go."

"Don't forget to lock your patients doors." I nodded. Walking down to the hall in which they stayed, I locked every door, but one. I didn't want to treat her as a drug patient. She didn't have a problem. She couldn't of had a problem. I walked into her room and brushed her hair form her eyes. "I'll be back." I whispered. She didn't stir, she only continued to mumble. "I can pay. I can pay." What could she pay?

I walked out of her room sadly and left her door cracked. "Are your patients secure?" The security asked me as I was heading out. "Yes, they all are." he nodded and stood his post outside. As I drove home in silence, I was conflicted on how I would break the news to my family.

**later**

It went over just as I thought it would. Tanya and her family weren't present at the time. They thought it would be good to give my family and I some privacy. Which was good. They weren't very thrilled, though I knew they wouldn't. Alice insisted upon everyone coming to visit. But, I said that wouldn't be the greatest idea in her current condition.

Carlisle arrived home about an hour after I did, his face grave. "Edward, why did you lie? Do you not realize what you've done?" he whispered. I looked at him confused. "Carlisle what-" but I stopped short as I witnessed the horror that played through his mind. "You did this. Why didn't you listen to me? _Why?"_

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	4. Chapter 4: Talking

**SORRY! I FIXED IT! REAL CHAPTER 4**

**Recap:**_Carlisle arrived home about an hour after I did, his face grave. "Edward, why did you lie? Do you not realize what you've done?" he whispered. I looked at him confused. "Carlisle what-" but I stopped short as I witnessed the horror that played through his mind. "You did this. Why didn't you listen to me? Why?"_

"What's going on?" Emmett asked. But I was too far gone to answer him. I looked back at Carlisle as he played the scene through his mind again.

_Bella's blank, lifeless eyes focused up above her head as she lay sprawled out across the floor in a dimly lit room. Empty bottles littered the floor around her body as foam trickled from her chalky lips. I saw Carlisle's face as he walked inside the room she lay in, and bend down to clutch her to his chest. His daughter. His long lost daughter that he loved.....she was dying. Her pulse was becoming weaker by the second. He grabbed her up and rushed her to the ER. He gave the nurse the stomach pump as he retreated from the room._

"Why didn't you lock her door?" he asked. I could hear the pain in his voice, but it was even worse in his thoughts. My mind was racing. How had this happened? How had I _allowed _it to happen? She'd overdosed. And it was my fault. I was the one to blame. Self loathing engulfed my heart and mind and I fell to my knees. "Is....is..she okay?" the words were barely audible, even to vampiric ears. "She's...._stable_. I have to check her vitals when I get back. But, that does not answer my question. _Why didn't you lock her door?"_

I put my head in my hands. "I just....I couldn't make myself believe that she's an...._addict." _Carlisle shook his head disappointedly. "Bella will be assigned to _a new_ doctor, effective immediately."

"What? No! Carlisle I can handle this I can-"

"_NO." _he growled. Everyone grew silent. No one, including me, had ever seen Carlisle loose his temper.

"Edward, I have never been more disappointed in you. I almost lost my daughter. Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie, a sister. This is out of your hands now." he turned on his heel to leave and I raced after him. "Can I at least come in and visit her?" He looked at my face and his anger seemed to dissipate. "Yes, I suppose that would be fine."

I waited anxiously as Carlisle went inside to check her vitals. I was to wait in the lobby, but I couldn't still. It was morning by this time and I was just itching to go inside her room. Finally, Carlisle exited. "You can go in and see her now."

I nodded anxiously as I headed to her room.

Her head was turned towards the barred window and her breathing was shallow.

"Bella?" her head didn't move, but I saw the corner of her mouth turn down. "Bella, are you alright?" I asked, stupidly. Of course she wasn't. She'd just OD on Vicadin and 2 other pain killers an she'd had her stomach pumped the night before.

"It's a strange thing," she suddenly whispered. "being so close to death. And last night, I really was close. I mean, I was dancing on the line." her voice was soft as she continued to stare out of the bars on her window. "I've never been more afraid of dying. Not even when James had me in the studio. That was nothing compared to this." I winced at the memory. "But, somehow, I liked it. I like the feeling of....death. I'm ready, Edward. I'm ready to die." She turned on her side to look me in the eyes.

Her eyes were sad, yet peaceful. But mine were enraged. "You don't mean what you're saying." I ground out roughly. "Yea, I do. I'm tired f just trying to survive. I have nothing to live for anymore."

"Bella, please." I moaned.

"I thought you of all people would understand, Edward. Living everyday of your life never moving forward. I mean, I'm sure you have your distractions but, there's never a big enough distraction to distract a person from life itself." How could she be saying these things? She seemed to be completely depressed at that moment and I couldn't bear it. "Bella, you shouldn't say things like that." I growled. "The truth?" she questioned. "Why should I lie, Edward? It's the way I feel." she said closing her eyes. "I wish I'd done that from the begining." I murmured. "Bella, please hear me-" I started, but she was already snoring. I'd missed the chance to tell her the truth once again. I walked to her bed and moved her hair from her eyes.

Walking out of her room, I couldn't help but feel like a failure. "Dr. Cullen? I think you might want to see this." I heard the receptionist say. "What is it, Gladis?"

"Your patient, Bella Swan? Her drug test just came back and you'd be surprised by the drugs found in her system." She took a deep breath and began to read off a list. "Aside from the two bottles of Vicadin she downed last night there's, LSD, Cocaine, Heroine, Maujanna, Exstacy, pain killers, diet pills, alcohol, PSP, Magic Mushrooms.....her list just keeps going. She's tried almost every drug known to man."

I sighed in defeat. My Bella. My angel. The love of my life. She was an addict. And I finally knew what I had to do.


	5. Chapter 5: Introductions

**Thanks for the reviews**

**E POV**

That night I stayed close by Bella's side, watching her every movement. She did not speak to me again, she only stared at me through distant eyes. She slept restlessly, tossing and mumbling about a bill she had to pay. When I began to hum her lullaby unconsciously, her eyes snapped open and her look became murderous. I shut my mouth automatically, not wanting to anger her further.

"Bella,….we need to talk-" I started, but the door to her room opened and the frown on my face deepened. Vivian Harris, the hospitals physiatrist for drug patients, entered rigidly, a frown plastered on her pale face. "Bella, you missed our session this afternoon." she said sternly. "She was sleeping." I said, speaking for her. "I believe I was speaking to, Ms. Swan." The look I gave her was a gruesome one and she shivered. Hesitantly, she turned her head back to Bella.

"Have you no respect for those who are here to help you?" she asked, her tone rude. "For those here to help me, no." Bella said, softly, avoiding her eyes. "Well, since you missed our single session, its time for you to come to the group session."

**B POV**

I walked behind Vivian as she led me down the hall. She clicked her heels as she walked, mumbling as she went. "Right through here." she said, extending her hand to the double doors that lay ahead. I nodded mutely, walking silently to the only available seat.

I sat beside a young boy, no more than 16. His long dark hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, allowing me a better look at his face. His brown skin was beautiful, despite the dark circles incasing them. When he looked into my eyes, I felt as if I could feel his pain, it was practically tangible. "Hi." I murmured, softly.

"Hey." he smiled at me, his eyes finally coming to life.

"I'm Bella." I said, watching his smile grow wider. "Jacob." His voice was gruff, but still beautiful. He opened his mouth to speak but Vivian called our buzzing group to silence. I looked around the room for the first time, and I shuddered at what I saw. There were people of every race, and of every variety. Most of them skinny, hair in their faces, and some with scars that lined their wrists. "Good evening." She greeted. But really, what was so great about this evening? Every person in this room was addicted to one drug or another, and she wanted to call this evening _good?_

"I'm Vivian Harris, and I will be your physiatrist for your stay here in the Denali drug program." She smiled warmly at us, though, I don't think she knew she had a smudge of lipstick coating her front tooth. "We'll start with introducing ourselves." She looked at me, motioning for me to go first. "I'm Bella." I whispered, lamely. Everyone stared at me strangely as if I was missing out on something obvious.

And then it clicked. "Oh. I'm Bella, and I'm a drug addict." Vivian smiled. "Can we all greet, Bella?" She asked looking around the room. And as if on cue, every person said, "Hi, Bella." I blushed furiously and hid my face.

They continued around the circle, each person introducing themselves one by one. When they were done, Vivian had an announcement make. "Ladies and gentlemen, I know this is the first session but I'd like to do things a bit out of order. Before we get to know each other better, I'd like to try a little exercise." She smiled as she pulled a full length mirror from the closet and propped it against the wall. "Now, one by one I want each of you to stand in front of this mirror and tell the room what you see."

Jacob was first and he walked at a leisurely pace until he reached the mirror. I saw his face contort in pain at his reflection and I winced for him. "What do you see?" Vivian asked.

"I see…..a drug addict. I don't see myself. This isn't who I am. But, I cant fight what I've become." I saw the tears well in his eyes and I ached to comfort him.

Many people came up after him, and many tears fell.

I was the last and final one, but no one could have expected my reaction.

I squared my shoulders as I took in my appearance. "What do you see?" Vivian asked me. It was a simple enough question, I'd heard her ask it the entire hour. But now that she was asking me, the question seemed heavier. "I see…….pain. I see, a broken girl that couldn't fix herself if she tried. And if I'm being honest with myself, I don't want to change. The drugs make me happy. When I could count on no one to keep their promises, I could count on the drugs. They always gave what they promised."

"The drugs aren't helping you, Bella. Their killing you." Vivian said. Anger pulsed through me and I flushed a deep red. "I know they're killing me. And I'm not strong enough to fight them." I growled. And before I knew it, my fist went flying and shards of glass landed at my feet.

I then felt the pain, stinging my hand and I clutched it to my chest as I crumbled to the floor. I felt a pair of warm arms, which I later realized were Jacob's, wrap around my body and I knew that in his hold was where I wanted to stay.

_A/n: don't freak. This is still an EdwardXBella story. Please review_


	6. Chapter 6: Complications

**New Story: Shadows On The Battlefield**

Summary: _Bella's husband went away to war and left his brother to watch over her and their daughter. Bella hates Edward with every fiber of her being, but when she needs to be held, he's the only one near. AH BXE_

**Recap**_**: **__I then felt the pain, stinging my hand and I clutched it to my chest as I crumbled to the floor. I felt a pair of warm arms, which I later realized were Jacob's, wrap around my body and I knew that in his hold was where I wanted to stay._

I then heard the sounds of my muffled cries as they tumbled from my trembling lips. "Shhhh. Your fine. Its okay." I heard Jacob coo in my ear. Such kindness stunned me. I didn't even know his last name, let a alone if he'd mentioned it, and yet he still wished to comfort me. "We need a nurse in here." Vivian murmured into her phone quietly. I was suddenly aware of the entire room watching me in an odd silence and I began to twitch nervously. "I don't need a nurse." I whispered, clutching my hand to my chest. "Bella, I think you need someone to take a look at that." Jacob advised.

I shook my head back and forth several times, communicating my answer. But despite my absolute refusal, two nurses were ushered in and I was carried out. I squirmed in the arms of the butch women carrying me but I could have been fighting a brick wall for all the help it did me. "Bella?!" The sound of that enraged velvet voice made me immediately cease squirming. "Bella, are you alright?" His voice was frightened as he stared at me angrily.

The two women carrying me tossed into the nearest room and got to work removing the excess glass from my hand. "Ow." I hissed as they pulled out the longest shard. They closed the door then, blocking Edward from the view of my pain. But I knew he was listening outside, watching as I was stitched up. Part of me was enraged at that, but another part of me enjoyed it.

I felt as if he cared if he was listening, and I was fine with pretending for now. I was ready though, for the death I knew was to come. I knew I couldn't escape the drugs, and I knew they'd be my ultimate downfall. I was completely helpless, I couldn't bring myself to fight anymore. The drugs won and I knew the minute I had a chance to get more, I would. I was so close the other night, but unfortunately, that attempt failed. Originally, though, it didn't start off as a suicide attempt. I just had a craving and I couldn't help myself. But as the high hit me and my vision began to blur, I knew I was at the breaking point. I knew in mere seconds I would be dead and I loved the feeling.

I felt free as I ever had, almost as if I was flying. But flying wasn't a good enough word for what it was. Floating, more like it. I was floating among happy memories and what my life was before it downgraded to this. Times that Edward and I shared with one another were not among them, for they did not bring happiness, only sadness and grief for what was and could have been.

Life as I knew was turned upside down and if it were ever right side up again, I'd be eternally grateful to God.

"Okay, honey your all done." The woman said, and I got down to my feet. "Can I go to my room now?" I asked, hesitantly. "Well, I'm not sure if your group session was done-"

"No, she may return to her room. I'd like to have a word with her." Vivian interrupted, walking in. I had never been so grateful to anybody in my life. "Thank you." I mumbled, scurrying to my room. Suddenly I came in contact with something cold and hard. "Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked, frantic. I simply shook my head and continued on to my room with the barred windows.

As I was climbing into bed, I heard the door close quietly. "Bella, I know our private session isn't for a few hours but this couldn't wait. We need to talk." I nodded at Vivian, and turned to face her. "About two nights ago, I came in and I saw Dr. Cullen in here watching you sleep." My eyes bugged. "H-he was watching me sleep?" I noticed him sitting quietly in my room once or twice, but I didn't fathom that he'd actually watch me sleep….again. "Yes. Do you and Dr. Cullen have history?" And at that question, I closed my eyes and shut her out. Reliving those memories were painful and I wasn't going to relive them again.

"That's what I thought." she said, confirming my silence for a confirmation. "I think his constant presence is effecting you progress here." My calm façade faded as I opened my eyes to stare widely at her. "I think he should refrain from seeing you." she said.

"Get out." I hissed. "What?"

"I said. _Get. Out."_ I growled. "Bella-" she started. "_Now." _This time she did as I asked. Closing the door behind her, I was finally alone. But not for long. It was about 10 minutes later when I heard the door slowly creek open. "Hey." I heard Jacob whisper.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, in absolute surprise. "I snuck out. I thought you could use a friend right now."

"You're right, I do need a friend." And he seemed to be just the friend I needed. But the nagging voice in the back of my mind still whispered the name of the long lost love I _thought _would be gone forever.

_Please review and check out the new story….._


	7. Chapter 7: Misreading

**New story: HER SOUL'S ASYLUM**

**Summary: _Edward is a doctor at Seattle's Asylum for the mentally disturbed and Isabella swan was supposed to be just another lunatic. But why does this lunatic know so much about Vampires?_**

_**Please review if you like it or not because I'm thinking about deleting it.**_

**B POV**

**Recap:** _**"You're right, I do need a friend." And he seemed to be just the friend I needed. But the nagging voice in the back of my mind still whispered the name of the long lost love I thought would be gone forever.**_

He smiled at me then, his teeth lighting up the room. "So, what was with the break down in there?" he asked. I sighed, patting the space next to me. He crawled slowly and wiggled around. "It's kind of crapped." I nodded in agreement and closed my eyes. He nudged me then, trying to shake me out of my stupor. "Bella, wake up."

"I'm so sorry," I yawned, "I've been so tired lately." He smiled. "Yeah. Drugs can do that to you." We were both quiet for a while, not sure what to say. "So what got you started?" I asked. He rose his eyebrows in confusion and I laughed. "I meant, what got you started on drugs?" His eyes started to water and I was afraid I'd overstepped the boundaries.

"If its too personal, you don't have to talk about it." Jacob shook his head, his eyebrows scrunching in frustration. "No, I think it'll be good to talk to someone about it." He was quiet for a minute and then took a deep breath. "My dad told me something." He growled. I waited for him to say more, but he never did. I looked at him worriedly.

"Was it something about your past?" I probed. "No. I found out something about myself. I'm not……I just realized I'm not who I thought I was. I'm….I'm no good." He put is head down then, shielding his face from my view. "I cant say I understand what you mean, but it sounds tough." He laughed bitterly. "You have no idea."

I rubbed small circles into his back, waiting for him to say more. "So," he started, "What got you started?" I looked down, avoiding all eye contact from him as I spoke.

"I um…..I was dumped." I could barely hear it, but he seemed to. "I'm sorry to hear that." I nodded. "Yea." I fiddled with my fingers, and he touched them softly. "Hey, whoever this guy was, he's got a few screws loose. You're awesome." I shook my head before he even finished. I felt my tears begin to roll down my cheeks and I shoved them away. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I lied. He looked me in the eye and shook his head. "You're lying."

"How do you know?" I asked incredulously.

"You're face to easy to read." I'd heard something like_ that _before. We both sat quietly then, listening to the sound of our breathing.

And suddenly, I felt chills fill my body. I shook violently and I clutched the blanket to my chest. "Bella?" He asked. But I was far from answering. All I could feel was the cold, like my entire body was on a bed of pins and needles. "What is this?!?" I screeched, clutching myself closer to the blanket. "Bella, its gonna be okay." Jacob's voice was silky and composed, which surprised me. But before I could question him more, Edward stormed in. His eyes were wild with pain, envy, and worry. "Bella, love, are you cold?" He touched his hand to my forehand and I swatted him away. "I'm cold. do you think your touch is going to _help _me?" My voice was harsher than I meant for it to be, but I'd never experienced this feeling before.

"Wait. Did he just call you, _love?" _Jacob asked. I shut my eyes and tried to get warm. And then there was pain, and my body convulsed more often. "Bella? Do you want another blanket?" Edward asked, ignoring Jacob.

"I don't think these are those kind of chills. She's going through withdrawal." Edward's face looked mortified that he hadn't realized this earlier. "I'll notify your doctor. And Mr. Black, you need to get back to your room, _now._" Jacob stared at Edward defiantly. "You're the guy. The guy that dumped her. I can tell by the way she's looking at you." I winced and closed my eyes, not wanting to hear any of this. Edward watched Jacob leave angrily and then turned to follow him out.

"Edward?" I asked hesitantly, the convulsions still coming and going. "Yes?" He looked pleasantly surprised.

"Could you…..do you think you could stay with me for a while? I want to talk to you." He smiled slightly, though his eyes were sad. He started to walk over to my bed when a strawberry blonde woman stepped in and placed her perfectly manicured hand on his shoulder. She was beautiful, even more than Rosalie, and I knew she was a vampire.

"Hello, Tanya." Edward said, kindly. She smiled at him, her eyes staring into his. "Hey, Edward. I haven't gotten a chance to see you since you moved in." As soon as the words were out, my heart sank. I closed my eyes and tried to block it all out. But it was useless. All I could see was him and her, happy and in love. But how could he just move in with her? Did I really mean _nothing _to him?

He turned his attention away from Tanya back to me. "I'm sorry, Bella. This is rude of me. What was it you wanted to talk about?" I didn't answer right away so Tanya did. "I can leave if you want a minute….."

"No. It's fine. I'm gonna go to sleep anyway." I had nothing else to say then, so I closed my eyes. I heard Edward try to speak to me again but I was already drifting off into a painful nightmare where the love of my existence finally left me for what I wanted to become most. A vampire.

**Review. Obviously she's misreading the signs between Edward and Tanya, but you know. Drama. Its my thang.**


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